My Physical Condition

My current physical symptoms are primarily tightness and discomfort in my abdomen due to the excessive build-up of fluid in that area. This results in pressure on my stomach and limits my capacity to ingest food. Therefore, most days I can only eat a few bites of a meal, before I feel miserably "stuffed." So, I have to eat multiple small meals or snacks throughout the day. In addition, I drink an occasional can of Gleucerna (like Insure, but designed for diabetics) to insure that I get needed nutrients.

Long before my diagnosis of cancer, I was having frequent, often constant pain in the left side of my abdomen. It began the day after I had had a colonoscopy on May 3, last year. That particular source of pain has persisted in varying degrees until around March 22, this year. The last 2 or 3 weeks before it subsided, the pain grew in intensity, to the point that it was the main source of my discomfort. It is now gone. Praise the Lord!

Is there a medical explanation for that pain to have gone away? Maybe. But, I do know that my wife (Schelia), during those last 2 or 3 weeks that it grew in intensity, when asked how I was doing, would share with our church folks that I was having an issue with that particular painful area. I was informed frequently that the people were praying that the Lord would take the pain away, and He did!

That experience makes me wonder if the Lord desires that we be more specific in some circumstances, regarding our petitions that we bring before Him. If that is the case, then my prayer need, for the moment, is that the Lord would cause the excessive fluid build-up and tumors in my abdomen to dissipate, in addition to the cessation of the pancreatic tumor and ultimately, every trace of the cancer.

Since I have chosen not to take anymore chemotherapy, the V.A. doctor that released me, strongly recommended that I begin a relationship with Home Hospice, even though I am not yet confined to my home or bed. So, that process was started to weeks ago. They will monitor my progress and prescribe pain control medications, as needed.

Honestly, I don't know what the future holds. Many have told me that the Lord has impressed them that I am going to be healed. If He does heal me, then, Praise the Lord! If He chooses not to heal me, then, Praise the Lord anyway! He holds the future in His hands. I'm trusting Him to work all this together for everyones' good and for His glory. (Romans 8:28) Above all, I desire that hearts and lives will be touched and/or changed for the glory of the Lord, as a result of this trial, so as by fire.

"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire , might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:" (1 Pter 1:7, KJV)

Medical Update, Mar. 12, 2009

This past Tuesday, the 10th, I went back to the VA for my weekly chemotherapy treatment, to be administered if my blood platelet count was high enough. I was able to see the doctor and get the results on the CT scan that I had had on the 25th of February. The report was not good. In the two weeks between the PET scan (which was good) and the CT scan, the cancer had spread into my abdomen, creating multiple tumors (the largest being about one inch in diameter). The doctor said, "Since the cancer is not responding to the current chemotherapy, there is no reason to continue the therapy." He offered me a "last resort," chemotherapy, using pills (4 in the morning, three at evening). Other than that, he said nothing more could be done. I agreed to try the pills, picked up the prescription, and headed home, planning to take the first dose on Wednesday morning.

Before taking the pills I read the paperwork, listing the various side-effects that I could have to deal with. The side-effects consisted of swollen feet and hands, accompanied by sores and blisters, nausea, vomiting, headaches, backache, tenderness of feet (limiting walking), loss of hair, diarrhea, bloody stool, etc.

Currently, apart from the side affects of the chemo that I've been taking, I'm in reasonably good health. I don't know how long it will last, but I've decided that since the medical community has no cure for the disease, if it is God's time for me to go, I'd rather have quality of life that is short, than quantity of life consisting of agony and suffering. So, I've opted out of any further chemotherapy treatments. They've done all they can do with radiation therapy. Surgery is not possible. Therefore, the trust and dependance for healing is now fully in the Lord's hands, if it is His will. To God be the glory, whatever outcome He chooses!

"To me remains nor place, nor time:

My country is in every clime;

I can be calm and free from care

On any shore, since God is there.

While place we seek, or place we shun,

The soul finds happiness in none:

But with a God to guide our way,

'Tis equal joy to go or stay."

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

The Lord is my shepherd ; I shall not want. (Ps. 23:1, KJV)

Medical Update, Feb. 6, 2009

Good news! I went to the V.A. hospital, this morning, for a followup on the PET scan I had done, this past Monday. The tumor is still localized, i.e., it hasn't spread to any other part of my body. The report says that it has "responded to treatment" and is not as inflamed as it was previously. They are not able to measure the size of the tumor with a PET scan. That will be done within the next month, or so, via a CT scan. The doctor was very pleased with the report, overall.

Beginning, Tuesday, the 10th, I'll begin a one day per week regimen of chemotherapy, again. They'll administer the drug for three consecutive weeks, I'll skip the 4th week, and then start three more weeks of treatment. I'm supposed to continue through that cycle for the next six months, as long as my blood platelet count doesn't get too low.

I'm having some issues with my digestive tract. It seems to be largely associated with the particular foods that I eat. But, it's tolerable, and seems to be improving as time passes. Most days, now, I feel pretty close to normal. I'm beginning to be able to rest more comfortably at night, as well.

Everyone has been so loving and encouraging. I know the prayers of the saints have made a significant difference in the way things have gone. The doctor in Dallas told me, back in November, that I wasn't a "normal patient." He said most patients with my diagnosis would be on their death bed. The Lord has been gracious and merciful. His people have overwhelmed me with an outpouring of love and encouragement. Thank you, all.