Why me, Lord?

"Why me, Lord?" was one of the first thoughts that entered my mind upon recieving the diagnosis that I was terminal. The thought that immediately followed was, "I deserve every negative experience, every bad thing, that may come my way, and much much more. But, I have a glorious God who has chosen not to give me everything I deserve. Instead, He has given me mercy and grace through His son, Jesus."


No Christian is exempt from trials and tribulations in their experience in this world. After all, we're on the battle field, the battle between good and evil. Satan is still roaming the earth, as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour! However, praise God! his days are numbered.

There's no doubt in my mind that the Lord is still on His throne, ruling and reigning, according to His good pleasure. He is in complete control of my circumstances. He knows what He is doing. I'm not always able to track Him, and when I can't track Him, I trust Him. He has graciously given me peace, regarding my health, whatever the outcome may be. In the meantime, with His help, I want to lift up His name, so that He can draw all men unto Himself!

Ro 8:28-9:1
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.
31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.
34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (KJV)

Why this blog title?

In a nutshell, in 1975, on the first birthday of our daughter, at the age of 26, almighty God dealt with me in such a way that I could not resist calling upon the Lord Jesus for forgiveness of sins and eternal salvation. At the time, I was a severe introvert. I didn't like crowds, and I found it extremely difficult to build relationships with strangers. As the Lord dealt with me during the invitation time, in a Sunday morning church service, I informed God that I would rather burn in a devil's hell than make a public confession of being a sinner in need of God's mercy and grace. The Lord quickly gave me a mental picture of the thing that I would most fear in the experience of hell. The picture was not of suffering in hell's fire, but one of total darkness with myself floating aimlessly in the midst of it all, terribly alone, and isolated from all things. God then reminded me of the time when as a young boy, I was questioning the existence of God. I assumed that He did exist and that He was a "good" God. I further assumed that when life got unbearable, He would hear my cries and come to my rescue. However, if I chose hell, rather than His mercy and grace, in the name of His Son, when I could not stand the darkness, and absolute isolation any longer, if I called on Him to rescue me from it all, He would never come to my aid. I would even be eternally separated from Him! That Sunday, is the day I experienced my "Escape, from the dark side of nowhere." I humbled myself in the presence of God and man, and by faith, recieved forgiveness of sins, and an eternal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, His Son.